REVIEW: Fast Forward

It was not too long ago when Shah Rukh, during the producer-distributor conflict, proclaimed that no filmmaker intentionally sets out to make a horrendous movie. SRK being SRK managed to convince me and I decided to go easy while reviewing films henceforth. No more, I say! After enduring Fast Forward (an ironically snail-paced flick and that's not even the crux of the problem) I've changed my mind and I'll bet even King Khan would have found it difficult defending his theory this time around.

Here we go... try keeping up with the air quotes. Fast Forward is about people sharing a common 'passion' – dance. This 'riveting drama' about simple people and their 'struggle' against time and against the odds is replete with 'conflict', 'emotions', 'romance' and 'thrills'. Okay, agreed this is a press release, minus the air quotes of course. But explaining what unfolds in front of you would mean making a mockery of the term scriptwriting.

So what we really have here are a bunch of vagabonds led by Rishi (played by Rehan Khan) who wear outrageous outfits - that would do Govinda proud, with equally ridiculous hair styles, wasting time either in malls or on the streets of Mumbai. They harbour dreams of becoming world-renowned dancers. They also have a tacit understanding between them to be as loud and annoying as possible with their mannerisms. And you're supposed to feel sorry for their plight. Yeah right!

When you go for a movie whose central theme is dance, the least bit you expect is groundbreaking choreography, heart thumping music and mediocre acting, at best. But saying that Fast Forward fails to deliver on all those counts would be grossly understating the facts. Even the choreography is so banal that it would make Boogie-Woogie look like So You Think You Can Dance?.

As you watch Fast Forward Zaigham Ali Sayed, the director gives you an impression that he has tried his level best to make a bad film and he even succeeds in doing so. The screenplay has a mind of its own. The plot hardly focuses on dance and constantly oscillates between lousy romance and bloodthirsty gangsters; yeah there's place for their kind too in this brain-dead flick. What's worse, it's the beginning of the second half and you still don't know why the film's called Fast Forward.

Either the unit had no writer on board or a pedestrian was forced to write at gun-point. Sample this: When Sunny (played by Akshay Kapoor) confesses his love for Jheel (played by Bhavna Pani) this is how he chooses to express himself: "Main Tumse pya.. pya.. will you dance with me forever?" Right about then a fellow reviewer (?) chuckles with sheer bemusement. If it's not corny then it's too colloquial making the characters in the film look extremely inarticulate.

Of late Bollywood's besieged by a bunch of promising youngsters but it's safe to say that Rehan Khan and Akshay Kapoor don't fit in that category, if their performances in this film are anything to go by. Apart from being a sexist and suffering from a bad tan Rehan Khan seems to have borrowed a few tips from the Deols. The chap is perennially angry, God knows for what and so convincing is his performance that his anger eventually rubs off on you.

Now coming to the most dejecting part, Fast Forward even stars two of our most respected actors, Vinod Khanna and Mahesh Manjrekar. I like them way too much to explain their existence in this deplorable flick.

The film can even boast of a comical climax that involves some sort of a face-off between various dance groups in a competition called Fast Forward To Fame. Good Lord! That's where the film gets its name. What a shame!

Verdict: Fast Forward is a perfect opportunity to get even with someone who's wronged you.

Rating: 1/5